


Not A Waning Moon

by didyousaygay



Series: My Personal Solar System [13]
Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25828801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didyousaygay/pseuds/didyousaygay
Summary: every relationship has its own struggles.they are not an exception.
Relationships: Stellvester "Stell" Ajero/John Paulo Nase | Sejun
Series: My Personal Solar System [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774648
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	Not A Waning Moon

**Phase**

"Ano sa tingin mo Sejun, eto na lang or yung black?"

Sejun turns to Ken with a deadpan stare. If he was asked about the weather, politics or even religion, he would've replied with enthusiasm. He turns back to his phone with a sigh. "Ken, pang limang blazer na yan. Pang limang tanong na rin yan. Wala namang media. Wag ka nang pumorma."

"Sige na.. Anong color na? Magaling ka kasi mag-pair ng damit eh."

"Felip Jhon, magbibihis ka ba o ano?!"

"Iba talaga pag laging.. ano.. laging magkasama noh?! Parehong pareho na kayong magsalita." Ken removes his brown blazer and picks the black one that is discarded on the bed keeping his prankish stare fixed on Sejun.

Sejun is obviously not falling for that. "Ken, apat na city na tayong magka-room mate. Sino ngayon sa tingin mo ang lagi kong kasama?" 

"Eh di pwede na din kitang tawaging John Paulo pag mainit ulo mo?"

He finally looks up and gives him an icy glare. "Eh di i-try mo."

Ken laughs and wears the black blazer again "Seeee-juuuun, sige na, ano na? Best roomies na nga tayo, ayaw mo pa ko tulungan.." he sits on the bed to face Sejun with an exaggerated frown. "nakakatampo naman to oh.."

Sejun sighs again, he can't remember how many times he has done that since Ken started his mini fashion show and truthfully, he doesn't mind. What irks him is the occasional side comments about Stell. It's already frustrating enough that they can't find the time to be alone together due to their packed schedule and Ken might not say things directly but Sejun knows when he's being teased, it's clearly working and that's what annoys him. "Yung navy blue, mas bagay yun."

Ken stands up and takes it from the closet with a triumphant smile. "Kaya love na love ka ni Stell eh, ang galing talaga pumili ni Sejun." 

"Tigilan mo ko, nang-uto ka pa." 

"Bakit, pareho namang tama yung sinabi ko ah!" 

"Suson, bibilisan mo ba dyan o isesend ko kay Stell yung pic mo nung natutulog ka sa Batangas?!"

"Eto na, eto na, nakabihis na, grabe 'tong mag-jowang 'to pagkakaisahan pa ko!" 

"Anong sabi mo?!"

"Sabi ko grabe ka! Bully! Eto na, tapos na."

Sejun knows their friends are not dense nor idiots and with all the things that they've been through, they know something's up but decided not to confront them and for that, he's thankful. He puts his arm around Ken with a smile. "Hindi ah, favorite son kaya kita, wag ka maingay kay Jah." 

  
When they reached the hotel lobby, the other three are already waiting and Josh is scowling at them. "Tagal nyo! Kung sino pa yung mga matagal magbihis, sila pa yung laging magkasama."

Sejun just smiles at Josh, his arm still around Ken when he traps him in a head lock and replies. "Etong si Ken ang matagal, nadamay lang ako."

Ken tries to free himself but Sejun's grip is too strong. From an outsider, it looks like a one sided skirmish. "Kasalanan po itong lahat ni John Pau---! Aray, oy, hala sinasakal talaga ko, oy!! Aray! Jah, tulong!"

"John Paulo.." 

It was spoken calmly but nevertheless, menacing. All heads turn to Stell who is staring at Sejun and Ken with an unreadable expression. The rowdiness was instantly replaced with tensed silence. Sejun releases Ken right away and Justin drags him to the van, Josh following not far behind. 

Sejun had to remind himself that they are in a hotel lobby. One of them needs to keep their cool but it's not easy as it may seem. 

Stell is wearing a black button down shirt, matched by black pants that perfectly clings on all the right places. He is not smiling at all and Sejun knows that's not a good sign but he looks so hot, it's freaking illegal. He has more than enough share of sleepless nights because of their room arrangements and this image of Stell will surely haunt him for the next few days. 

But to deal with the urgent matter, his Tey needs to smile first. He walks and stops a few inches away from him, continuously reminding himself that they are in public.

"Bakit masungit ang boyfriend ko?" Sejun speaks softly. 

Stell tries to hide a smile, shifting his weight in one leg. "Ikaw kasi eh." He looks down on the floor and pouts. "Ang tagal tagal nyo ni Ken."

"What do you really want Tey?" He tries to keep his hands firmly on the side, admonishing the part of him that wants to disregard everything else and just hold Stell in his arms.

Stell finally looks up at him with pleading eyes, biting his lower lip. "Lowbat na Pau..."

The self control that he's been holding high up in the tension wire snaps. He digs the phone in his pocket with shaky hands not averting his gaze away from Stell. He clicks his tongue when he needs to look down and dial Justin's number and the few rings before he picks up felt like light years.

"Jah, pahintay lang, give us ten minutes." He didn't even wait for Justin to acknowledge, he ends the call and drags Stell back to their room.

They both know that even with fast chargers, ten minutes is not enough. But that is all they have for now.

**Superior Planets**

The dinner is held at a garden restaurant in Pangasinan, the fifth stop of their tour. It was organized by their management together with other musicians who are included in the show. Some are quite known, while some are extremely talented individuals with budding careers and this event is a good way to establish connections and professional relationships.

The over all atmosphere was pleasant and friendly. If this was any other given day, Stell would enjoy the event but now, sitting in the table opposite Sejun who is infuriatingly sin personified is enough to drive him nuts. If Sejun in a black turtle neck long sleeve is enough to give him prepubescent fantasies, his hair tied up in an unkempt man bun sent his soul straight to the gallows. He didn't want to appear like a possessive husband earlier when he saw Sejun with Ken but jealousy clearly doesn't need an invitation. It just comes when you least expected it. Like an unwanted flu that affects normal functioning, brings your senses down until all that's left of you is a repulsive pile of mush.

He didn't realize that he's been staring at him the whole time not until one of their producers approached Sejun and was asked to talk to a group in the nearby table. If he's in charge, he won't let Sejun talk to anyone. He tries to repel the green eyed monster away. Justin gently taps his arm, cutting off his selfish notions.

"Stell.."

"Ano yun?!" He even surprised himself with his brash reply but maybe his unwanted guest hasn't left the premises yet. He tries again with a much more welcoming tone. "Sorry may iniisip lang, bakit Jah?"

"Nagalit ka ba kanina kasi late sila o dahil nagselos ka?"

Unexpected. If this night would have its own header like a weekly drama, that's the title, without a doubt. He knows what he did at the lobby was out of character and way out of line but he was not expecting to be confronted this early. And by Justin, among all of them.

He's still watching Sejun, two tables away from them. Talking to what seems like a new P-pop boy group. The young members clearly looking at Sejun with great respect and admiration and you can't really blame them. "Bakit naman ako magagalit dahil late sila?"

"So nagalit ka, kasi nagselos ka?"

He doesn't know how to provide a sincere reply for that question because if managing jealousy in a relationship is a skill that needs to be learned, he needs to start this workshop ASAP before things gets out of control.

"Bakit naman ako magseselos?"

"Bakit nga ba Stell?"

"Jah, kung lahat ng bakit may sagot ang dali sana ng buhay di ba." 

"Stell--"

It was obvious that Justin still has some questions for him but he moves away to sit at the purposely left empty seat beside Sejun. "Ayoko na, dito na lang ako tatabi kay Sejun para hindi ako binabato ng mga challenging questions gaya mo." 

"Feeling mo, hindi na kita tatanungin pag malayo ka?"

"Hindi mo na ko matatanong pag andyan si Sejun, kaya mo?" He replies with a grin.

Justin responds with a death stare but his line of sight shifts to someone behind Stell and his expression changes to resignation.

"Pabalik na si Sejun noh? Ano Jah?! May itatanong ka ba?" When Justin doesn't reply, he looks back to Sejun's direction and he's just a few steps away from them. Their eyes meet and Sejun smiles at him and for a split second moment, he wanted to tell Justin that no, there's no reason for him to be jealous because Sejun will never look at anyone the same way he looks at him. 

But fate has prominent plans to make things interesting.

"Paulo!"

Sejun turns to the voice who called him. He can see Justin in his peripheral vision closely observing his reaction.

The guy is a few centimeters taller than Sejun, he's wearing faded denim jeans, sneakers and a plain white shirt. Casual and simple but his refreshing boy-next-door face completely negates the word simple and with the way he's smiling at Sejun, by anyone's standards, Mr. Casual is handsome. 

Sejun recognizes him and he smiles. The carefree smile that makes his eyes disappear, the smile that makes all the girls go awww and Stell's heart soar into unknown heights of joy. _No, he is not jealous._

"Andrew? Drew!! Hoy, it's been how many years na?!" Sejun playfully hits him in the shoulder.

Mr. Casual who now has a name hugs Sejun. After a few back pats, Sejun pulls away from the hug and Andrew finally speaks. "Maybe three or four? Last time nag-treat ka ng coffee nagmamadali ka pa!"

"Ah oo nga! Alam mo na, sobrang busy. May event kasi kami nun. Pakilala kita sa mga kagrupo ko." Sejun finally introduces them. "Si Ken, si Josh yung tatay namin kaya dyan sya nakaupo sa head seat, si Justin and Stell." 

He's still looking up at Sejun from his seat and Sejun smiles at him, rests his hand on his shoulder as if it is the most normal thing in the world and he mentally thanks Sejun for the re-assurance. "Guys, friend ko from highschool, Andrew."

_No, he's not jealous. No._

"Andrew, nagbabanda ka ba?" Josh inquires with interest. 

"May band sya before tapos nag-solo career." Sejun replied on his behalf and if Justin raised an eyebrow on that and looked at Stell with interest, he pretends not to care.

"Ah kaya pala familiar ka." Josh responds. "Nice to meet you pare."

"Kasama 'ko sa mag he-headline sa mga next shows nyo. May prior commitments pa kasi, kaya ngayon lang ako nakarating." 

"Nice to meet you." Justin replies. "Matagal na kayong magkakilala ni Sejun?"

Andrew slings an arm around Sejun's shoulder and smiles. "I've known this guy since 14? Or 15? Mga ganong age, tama ba?" He turns to Sejun.

"Oo, nung panahong emo ka pa." Sejun laughs. "Ngayon heart throb ka na."

"Hey, we both had that loner emo artist phase! Kaya nga tayo naging magkaibigan eh."

Ken joins in. "Parang gusto ko makita yung emo na John Paulo."

Sejun removes his hand on Stell's shoulder to bring his phone out and replies to Ken with a threatening grin. "Send ko na ba yung picture mo Ken?"

Ken sticks his tongue out at Sejun. "Ayoko na palang makita." Then turns to Andrew with a smile. "Nice meeting you pare."

"No, it's an honor to meet all of you in person."

He finally found his voice to speak. "Ang pormal mo naman Andrew." If his voice sounded a bit shaky, Mr. Casual's arm around Sejun can be held accountable for it.

Andrew looks at him, still smiling. "Yung achievements nyo, worthy of respect, kaya I'm really honored, Stell. Kung di ko lang 'to kilala, mahihiya akong lumapit sa inyo. Kaya nga nakaka-proud 'tong si Paulo eh."

"Proud na proud din kami kay Pau." He held Sejun's hand firmly and if there were surprised gasps among his friends or if there were curious glances given at them, he doesn't care because Sejun returns the gesture with a tight squeeze. _No, just. No. He's really not jealous._

"Well, it's good to know that a lot of people are proud of him." Andrew removes his arm around Sejun. _Finally._ "I'll go ahead na guys. Nice meeting you all. Paulo, yun pa rin ba number mo?"

"Oo, message mo lang ako."

"Okay, see you around Pau."

Sejun sits back on his place at their table, giving him a questioning look on why he had a sudden change in seating preference but he just gives him a tight lipped smile. Sejun tried to rest his hand on his knee but he stubbornly pulls away. 

They resume to random conversations with Justin inserting jokes every now and then. If it's his conscious effort to keep the atmosphere lighthearted, it's working. Or maybe, he's the only one who is in a grim mood. He needs to kick the green abomination out, it has no right to seek refuge in his heart. Not with the way Sejun smiles at him as if he's the only person in the world even with his sudden prickly attitude. There's no reason to feel insecure.

The ride back to their hotel needless to say was in strained silence and Stell knows it's his fault and he's not exactly proud of it. The moment the van stops in front of the hotel round about, he quickly alights, going straight to the lift without waiting for the others. 

**Lunar**

Today  
9:37pm  
.Pau ni Tey: Meet me at the lobby. Please

He's been reading the message repeatedly until his phone turns dark. Actually, it has been dark for quite some time and he's just staring into the black oblivion of his screen that equally reflects his mood. He tosses the phone away with a sigh until he feels the sensation that he's being watched.

Josh and Justin is looking at him while eating potato chips just as though he's a very uninteresting nature documentary.

He turns his back on them, covering himself with a blanket. But obviously they refuse to leave him in peace and throws something at him, it's not a pillow because it kinda hurt. If not for his unreasonable moping, he would've thrown something back to return the favor.

Josh speaks. "Hoy Stell, anong gusto mong gawin ko dito sa messages ni Sejun?"

He counts 1 to 10 patiently before he replies. He doesn't want to sound so eager and he knows it's childish but he can't help it. "Bakit, ano bang sabi nya?" 

Josh clears his throat and reads the messages out loud with extreme satisfaction and sarcasm. "Yung una, - _pakisabi kay Stell, check his phone_ -"

"Yung pangalawa, - _tulog na ba si Stell?_ -"

"Pangatlo, - _Josh, natutulog na ba sya?_ -"

"Fourth, - _Huy Josh, alam kong gising ka pa_ -"

"Madami pa yan pero almost pare-pareho lang, Eto na lang yung last, - _Josh, favor naman. Kung tulog na sya then let him be, kung hindi pa, pakikaladkad naman si Ajero sa lobby, parang awa mo na_ -"

Josh looks up from his phone with a sinister smile. "Stell, willing naman ako kaladkadin ka palabas, hindi ka na namin kailangan panoorin ni Jah na magmukmok, magkakautang pa sa kin si Se---" 

Before Josh can even finish his sentence, he's already out of their room running like a maniac. He ignores the lift and uses the stairs. He finds it amusing that their relationship always includes running. Be it running away from the other or running at full speed towards each other. There's no in between. And he loves Sejun so much he doesn't know how to contain the possessiveness that comes with it. 

When he reached the ground floor, he sees Sejun still wearing the cursed turtle neck top, sitting in the corner of one of the lobby sofas, the backdrop painting of a renaissance art making him look elegant, almost unreal and the hateful greediness that he's feeling is slowly clutching his heart again.

Sejun sees him and walks towards him with a tired but still disarming smile. "Hi Tey. Siguro naman hindi ka na galit kasi pinaghintay mo na ko ng two hours dito di ba?"

When self hatred comes at you, it attacks. Relentlessly. "Shit, Pau. I'm so sor---"

"Tara, may pupuntahan tayo." Sejun holds his arm and guides him to the parking area outside. They stop in front of a red Mazda car, Sejun opens the passenger seat and hands him a hoodie and baseball cap. 

"Pau, I love you and I'm sorry pero, kailan ka pa nagka-time mag prepare ng ganito? Kaninong kotse to?!"

"Mahal mo ko di ba? Sumakay ka na muna, ask questions later." 

There's a hint of mischief in Sejun's eyes when he looks at him from head to toe and he's reminded that he ran out of their room wearing his worn down cotton shirt, ratty sweat pants and the flimsy hotel slippers with his hair probably messed up in all kinds of directions.

So much for trying not to look so desperate. He bids his pride farewell.

Sejun walks over the driver's seat and he slips in the passenger seat after wearing the cap and the hoodie that smells so much like Sejun, he just wants to melt inside it.

"Seatbelt Tey."

He looks over at Sejun and he just kept on staring. There's something about Sejun on the driver's seat, his manly features emphasized by the faint glow of the overhead lighting, his kind but piercing eyes that looks back at him and you can't blame him if he's just gawking like a love struck idiot. 

Sejun slowly leans in and primal instinct just overcame instantly. He grabs Sejun's nape to bring him closer and he crashes those soft pouted wet lips against his. He trails his tongue to part Sejun's lips and he was rewarded with a soft moan as Sejun accepts him. This is different from the constrained kiss that they shared earlier. This time it is ravaging, almost bruising. Sejun's tongue slips in his mouth and he meets him in crazed intensity. Their mouths and tongues collide, feverish hot. In a frenzy, he tries to reach out underneath Sejun's clothes but the car's gear shift hits his hand and with a regretful "Ouch!" they unwillingly break the kiss.

Sejun leans back on the seat, trying to suppress his laughter. It was adorable but very annoying so he hits Sejun's knee using his unscathed hand and it just made him laugh even harder. 

"So tatawanan mo lang talaga ko John Paulo?" He tries to make it sound spiteful but the bubbling laughter that he's trying to conceal just explodes into an outburst. 

When they manage to contain their giggling fits, Sejun speaks and holds his palm out. "Patingin ng kamay mo."

"Wala na Pau. Hindi na masakit." He still shows him his hand though and Sejun gives it a chaste wet kiss. 

"Isusuot ko lang kasi dapat yung seatbelt mo, bigla mo kong sinunggaban." Sejun is looking straight at the driveway ahead still half smiling while he starts the car engine to life. 

"Eh di sige, Sweetheart, hindi na kita susunggaban next time. Mamumuti mata mo kaiintay."

"Ayoko ng sweetheart." Sejun pouts. His eyes are focused on the road ahead as they exit the parking lot, going straight to the highway.

"Pag ako, ang dami mong ayaw pero isang Paulo lang sa'yo, lingon ka na agad." There. He said it and he just wants to hide away in some remote mountain where no one can find his embarrassing existence.

Sejun doesn't reply immediately. It's like he's choosing his words well before answering and that makes him more anxious because he doesn't want Sejun to see this side of him but even if Sejun hates this part of him, he's not willing to let him go.

It was a short half an hour drive and Sejun didn't say a word throughout the journey. He kept his eyes fixed on the winding road ahead until they reached an area with perfectly lined coconut trees. It is quite dark outside but the muted lights from the distance shows the silhouette of bamboo cottages nearby. Sejun parks in a small pocket tucked in a corner beside a make shift store that is closed for the night. 

Sejun takes a set of hoodie and baseball cap from the back seat and wears it. It's an identical design from one of their sponsors, Sejun with an orange shade, while he's wearing a pink one. 

"Dito na tayo Tey."

He laughs. "Hindi ba parang mas obvious tong disguise natin Pau? Saang pictorial ba punta natin?"

"Eh di, dito." Sejun smiles and the moment he opens the door, the smell of the cool, salty sea breeze and the sound of smashing waves welcomes them.

"Alam mo bang nakakatakot sa beach pag gabi?!" He's not kidding at all. The beach at daytime until sundown is spectacular and lively, who doesn't love the beach? But it takes a different form at night. It's foreboding and daunting and he's not exactly hyped to step out there in the unknowing darkness. "Seryoso ka ba talaga?"

"Gusto ko sanang sabihing, magkasama tayo, there's nothing to be scared of. Pero parang mas okay yung, face your fears. Mas realistic di ba?"

Sejun is right, there are tons of things scarier than the beach at night. "Pag ako nagsisisigaw sa takot John Paulo, wag mo kong ikakahiya ha." He braces himself, opens the door on his side and steps out of the car but not before hearing Sejun's distinct reply.

"I would never..."

Stell bitterly laughs while walking towards the entrance and the sea breeze hits him head on. The beach suddenly doesn't feel scary anymore, it's just sad and lonely as he waits for Sejun who is slowly walking behind him deep in his own thoughts.

_Pag dumating ba yung araw Paulo, hindi mo ba talaga ko ikakahiya?_

The seaside is not terrifyingly dark as they initially expected. The flickering lamp from the fishermen, lights from nearby stores and cafe and the moon's bright reflection against the sea provides a relaxing appeal. There are people gathered around the bonfire, some old men who look like locals sharing stories and scattered groups of people getting drunk who appear like tourists. It's not the perfect pristine white sand beach that you can see in most travel guides and it's not the most romantic beach date but with the life and career that they have, proper dates are scarce and private moments between them are considered blessings. 

They walk side by side along the shore holding their footwear in one hand as they trudge through the sand and tireless waves. When they finally reach an area with lesser people, he holds Sejun's hand and they quietly enjoy the peaceful moment albeit temporary, will always be special.

There's a collapsed tree trunk not far away from the shore, they sit down still holding each other's hand while looking over the endless sea. Sejun breaks the silence, his thoughts now have finality like well written lyrics. For others, they might not appreciate it when it comes to spoken words but for Stell, he appreciates it because there's honesty and raw emotions behind every word.

"To be honest, please wag kang magagalit Tey, I like to see you jealous. It's selfish but it makes me feel that being with you is not really a dream. It grounds me but it breaks me. Alam kong hindi magandang feeling yun and I don't want you to feel it but a part of me is happy, it validates what I feel, na hindi lang yung nararamdaman natin yung totoo, but this relationship is also real."

"Pag sinabi mong pagod ka na sa pagtatago, lulunurin kita dyan sa dagat na yan John Paulo. Pero hindi pa rin kita iiwan."

"Lunod na lunod na nga ako, lulunurin mo pa ko. Paano umahon, Ajero?"

"Ay wow, so ako naman gagamitan mo ng mga lines na ganyan, Hubby ko?!"

"Ahhh Tey! Ayoko nyan! Don't call me that!"

"Bakit kinikilig ka?!"

"No, masyadong assuming. Yung future natin parang dulo ng dagat, di ko matanaw."

"Nasobrahan ka ba ng sinigang kanina, bakit andami mong ganyan?!"

"Mahal na mahal kita Tey and I'm sorry for making you feel sad."

"Pau."

"Tey."

"Pau.."

"Yes Tey?"

"I'm here Pau and I'll always be here."


End file.
